Do you know where your heart is?

2012 Resolutions

2012-01-03T16:46:00.000-08:00

1. workout 6 days a week

2. blog about life: food, faith, friends & family

3. spend more time with family

4. seek to see light even in darkness

5. read the bible daily & pray

6. spend less money

7. cook meals multiple times a week (see pulled chicken to the right!)

8. patience at work & with my future

E-devotion: random possibilities

2011-07-14T07:23:00.000-07:00

Pastor Foss' Weekly E-devotion had a great statement in it.. one that I strongly felt the need to share. Even though I'm at work I wanted to post it for others to see.

"Are you open to the random possibilities of God's Kingdom?"

Are you?

Present

2011-07-13T20:33:00.000-07:00

I'm crazy spontaneous. I live all I can and I love with every part of my heart. I'm also a planner when we're talking about my long-term future. A good friend of mine acknowledged that she believes I have a good heart and went on to state that sometimes we should follow our hearts instead of our often over-planning heads.

I've been living in the present and loving every single moment. Not worrying about the past full of lessons learned, broken promises, unexpected changes. Not worrying about the future full of colors of grey, uncertainty around the corner, completely full of questions. My present is about to be spun completely upside-down and maybe that will end up being right side up.. I have no idea. This post might not make sense to some and might speak miles to others for although the content of changes for us differ.. it's the changes themselves that will impact our lives forever.

"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why we call it "The Present". - Eleanor Roosevelt

"In order to determine whether there is anything we can know with certainty, we first have to doubt everything we know."

Descartes Methodic Doubt - Rene Descartes (1596-1650)

Bring Me Joy

2009-03-16T19:37:00.000-07:00

Help me discover through relationships, friendships, and networking, the best way to utilize the gifts You provided me with..

Help a dear friend, a mentor, who is going through a divorce, find peace and comfort in knowing joy throughout his time of sadness and help him know he's not alone..

"You bring me joy, you bring me joy.."

3rd Sunday of Lent

2009-03-15T19:44:00.000-07:00

3.15.09

Challenge: For 30 days keep a journal about what you're praying about.

First off, I don't feel like I'm "good" at praying, even though that's not really possible :). In the beginning of Pastor Foss' sermon he asked us to think about what our picture of prayer was. Someone kneeling beside their bed.. someone deep in thought.. giving complete trust to another. But why were they praying? What prompted their prayers? A life-changing experience, illness of a loved one, a deep desire for something? Prayers need to be persistent, I realize that. I need to make that persistence happen: pray daily. Toward the end of the sermon, those who are skeptical about prayer were reached: "Prayer does change things. Not always the way we want it to, but it does change them. Prayer isn't power over God, it's the invitation to trust him." One word: amazing.

I'm praying that I figure out my calling. In music, in ministry, in life. I'm ready to start the next chapter, a new season in my life, and I will be doing so in the next few months..

What will you pray for?

1st Sunday of Lent

2009-03-02T19:35:00.000-08:00

3-1 service, the first Sunday of Lent:

When was the last time I expected God's Word to speak directly to me? I'm not sure that I ever really expect it to speak directly to me. I know it will when I listen for it, something that I'm not sure I've been doing. I'm dreamed out, stuck, tired, but Pastor Foss is right: God has another plan for me, I just don't know it yet. I can't wait to find out and I hope more than ever it's soon. Some days I think I'd love to go to graduate school, some days I'd like to work in ministry forever, some days I want to settle, some days I want to reach for the stars. I can't wait for the day when I feel like I know, hitting me like a ton of rocks, shaking my world apart and immediately back together. Maybe now I'll listen harder, a little closer, seeking purpose. I do know that it will all happen when it's supposed to in His plan..

Now I'll work on unlearning what I have known in order to learn what I need to know. I'll make my personal relationships better; enhancing them each in their own ways. I'll be open-minded about not knowing where my life will take me in the future so that I may see where I'm headed..

With the change of seasons we turn over to a new chapter in our lives and I know this one will be the most brilliant and colorful of them so far. A time for growing, blooming, living fully. Spring, here I come.

November?

2008-12-14T13:19:00.001-08:00

I didn't post at all in November.. because of the fact that on 11.3.08 I started working full time at Wells Fargo Home Mortgage as a Customer Service Representative! It took me awhile to get used to.. so far, so good. :) Anyways, that's a pretty good reason, right?

12.7.08 - Money Matters. Last week's sermon shortened & in bullet format:

- God sees what happens in our lives within the context of the past and present, so that He can bring us the future that He wants us to have.

- We, as Christians, should talk about our faith with our friends, family, and loved ones. We should talk about why we believe.

- Know that the greatest gifts are intangible: the gift of a baby boy.

- We can have confidence in the fact that God is active in our lives every single day.

Pride & Prejudice

2008-10-27T11:44:00.000-07:00

By Jane Austen

Written in 1813, saying Pride & Prejudice is a love novel just doesn't do it justice. This book is about social classes and the assumptions that come with the status of life that a person had back in those times. Mr Darcy was an important character and the book is about finding the truth in his past so that a woman, Elizabeth, could potentially fall in love with him. There are many stories about marriage, courting, and love going on all around with Elizabeth's family and friends (particularly her older sister), but the focus is on Elizabeth and her affairs. I don't believe the title is referring to the pride in Elizabeth, in her low social class, or the prejudice in Mr Darcy, with his infinite amount of money. I believe the title is about both the pride and the prejudice that all people hold within.

Highly recommended. I plan on reading her other most loved novels in the near future.. in fact, I checked three out from the public library yesterday. :)

Real Life Perspective

2008-10-20T16:21:00.000-07:00

Sunday, 10.19.2008

I became a member at St. Mark last Sunday! With lots of others brothers and sisters too. I'm glad I found a ministry that I can love and call home.

What's my inner picture of God? I don't even know.. a Holy Spirit who heals, accepts, loves, adores and wants a relationship with all people. Those are all things in His heart that make Him so amazing. Someone who makes all things work together for my good..

My inner self understanding? I don't have one? Maybe it's because of the job search.. maybe it's because of this rut I'm in. I pray that He'll help me figure it out soon. I'm so restless.

It's all happening for a reason, I just wish I knew what the end result was. I guess I'm wanting instant gratification but I know growing into the rest of my life is going to take lots of time.. I'm excited and nervous.. but mostly nervous.

ER

2008-10-16T20:48:00.000-07:00

I've never been into watching ER. However, as I was reading tonight it was playing in the background and I found myself paying attention every now and then. Apparently a woman was leaving the hospital that had been a cherished staff member. Throughout her last shift she thinks deeply.. letting the Bible express her time spent working at the hospital..

Job 38:16-18
"Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea or walked in the recesses of the deep? Have the gates of death been shown to you? Have you seen the gates of the shadow of death? Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth? Tell me, if you know all this."

I don't know if I've been blind to this kind of thing - or I just happened to recognize part of something she said and did some digging - but I've never noticed something like this before. Sure, some underlying things I catch now-and-then, but not direct passages from the bible. It was awesome. Now I'm back to watching Sex & the City. Good night. :)

Blessings

2008-10-16T16:08:00.000-07:00

I've been jotting them down on a bookmark at night.

10.13.2008 - Jane Austen's Pride & Prejudice, Living with my parents, & Brooke Marie Ericson

10.14.2008 - Praise Team at St. Mark, long walks in the cold, & seeing all my girlfriends together once a week

10.15.2008 - Seasons of Sex & the City :), coffee at Starbucks, & getting to know Pastor Foss

10.16.2008 - Playing the piano, Macala's amazing friendship, & the lovely fall season

Real Life Joy

2008-10-12T20:03:00.000-07:00

Sunday, 10.12.2008

What we've been talking about at St. Mark is how to be a Christian in our everyday lives. This week we talked about being truly, sincerely joyful and discovering/developing inner joy. We can control what touches our hearts, so why not let it be joy? There are three things that we need to practice in order to be able to always rejoice in The Lord; gentleness, serenity, and confident prayer. If we want a worthy life we have to "behave into new thinking" - through experiencing real life joy - we're going to become the people we want to be. People with a life that's worth living.

1. Gentleness = patience.
2. Serenity = inner calm/peace.
3. Confident prayer = What is confident prayer?

Confident prayer.. something I'm still working on.. and probably will be for a long time. :) Today Pastor Foss said, "We can't only pray when we need help and develop confident prayer." To develop confident prayer we have to practice praying - not just when we feel like we NEED to pray. This is something really important to realize when we're praying.. we can do it whenever and wherever we'd like! No matter how we're feeling at that moment during prayer. Praying isn't something that needs to be formal or done at the same certain time. Prayer doesn't have to be scripted, for example, like a traditional church prayer for communion. We can pray while we're listening to our I-Pod going for a run, or getting ready for work in the morning, or driving in our car.. we can pray anywhere and know that we're having a conversation with God and He's listening to us.

We were all challenged this week to realize three blessings in our lives each day that make us joyful. I'll be posting my blessings each day so that I don't forget any.. and so that I remember never to take advantage of all the amazing aspects in/of my life.
Blessing #1: Worshipping with the Praise Team. It's my favorite 20(ish) minutes of my entire week.
Blessing #2: My awesome parents helping me through finding a job.. and just being here.
Blessing #3: The gift of music. All around.

Amazing Love

2008-10-08T10:12:00.000-07:00

I'm embarrassed that it has been so long since I've posted. The job search continues, consuming a decent amount of my time. I know that it will happen when it's supposed to. I have faith.. I had a job shadow at Acute Care, Inc. in Ankeny yesterday for a Recruitment Specialist position that I think I would be great at.. and then heard great things about the music ministry at St. Mark from Jake - more to come on that later. :)

I suffered from a super bad head cold this past week and missed worship on Sunday. Apparently it was phenomenal.. I'm jealous that I wasn't there to take part, but I'm happy for the guys that it happened. Such a good feeling. I feel like slowly but surely, my life is taking some kind of shape and everything that I've experienced up till now is helping me become the woman I want to be.

Amazing love, how can it be that you my King would die for me?
Amazing love, I know it's true, it's my joy to honor you in all i do..

The Unending Worshipper

2008-09-15T20:25:00.001-07:00

The Unquenchable Worshipper: Coming Back to the Heart of Worship by Matt Redman

"Meanwhile, of course, we were merely tuning our instruments. The tuning up of the orchestra can be itself delightful, but only to those who can, in some measure, however little, anticipate the symphony." If anyone has ever gone to the symphony this is a pretty good analogy. The warm up is a plethora of beautiful sounds, even though it never lines up into song. It's a sneak preview of the warmth that you'll soon feel. We are tuning and warming ourselves up for Heaven! We're preparing ourselves for the main event, eternity. While we are preparing we must know that "on this earth we can find Christ." I'm searching and I know that He will answer my prayers. I want to feel more sure about all aspects of my faith. I want to feel His presence around me. I am eager for the next few months of my life to unfold great things. :) The book is now finished.. go get yours!

The Unsatisfied Worshipper

2008-09-14T20:31:00.000-07:00

The Unquenchable Worshipper: Coming Back to the Heart of Worship by Matt Redman

Unsatisfied because what happens here on earth with our relationship with God is just a preview of the joy and satisfaction we will find when sitting next to Him in Heaven. Unsatisfied because we're always wanting more. Unsatisfied because there's always more to be seen of Him. I've already gone a little ways in my journey but there is SO much still for me to learn and love! That fills me with joy; I have everything to look forward to good times and bad because of the fact that I'll be doing it with someone who loves me eternally. Redman looks at his walk with God by looking through old poems from his present and past. Maybe this will be a good way for me to sort of document mine. Something to aim for. It's nice to have a place to just write about the things that I'm reading so that I get more out of it than I otherwise would. There are few people that I feel I could actually sit down with and talk to about the things that are going in my heart. Most wouldn't understand - although I hope they would try.

"So much of my live involves music, but.. I realized the most meaningful song I'll ever come across will be the one my heavenly Father sings over me." Another reminder that although the music is amazing that we worship with here and now.. something so much better is at the gates of Heaven! So sweet to have that to look forward to! By the way, this is seriously an amazing book. Just throwing that in here.

"We cannot be worshippers who simply walk by, ignoring the realities of this broken world." I hope I can get involved in something soon where I can help those in need. Women and children who suffer from abuse, homeless, hungry, anything where I could extend my love and support. I would love for something to come my way. I've looked for full-time empolyment with Children's Miracle Network, Happy Bear, Access Women's Shelter, and places like them located in Des Moines, but haven't found anything available yet. Hopefully once I find a perminant job I'll be able to simply volunteer at one/some of those places. I'd like to put smiles on as many faces as possible. :)

The Undivided Worshipper

2008-09-11T17:15:00.000-07:00

The Unquenchable Worshipper: Coming Back to the Heart of Worship by Matt Redman

"In many ways, worship involves both defense and attack." It is so easy to become divided from the things that are really important in our faith. The whole world screams at us reasons and temptations that are sometimes nearly unbearable to ignore. Jesus never let anything get in the way of his walk to the cross for God. Shouldn't we all be walking in the same manner? This chapter talks about a time where Jesus was so mad that he actually wrecks (money) traders' stalls in the Temple courts because he is outraged with how deceitful the traders are being to the Jewish people when they go to pay their taxes. The Jewish people are having their money changed at a horrible rate - they are being taken advantage of in Jesus' Father's House. Our Heavenly Father's home was a place of cheating and lies! Pretty good reason for Jesus to be so upset that he would take the attack mode of worship.

I'm eager for the song of my heart to catch up with the song on my lips. Inspire me. This is the chapter that explains the song The Heart of Worship. I thought I knew the song before, understood its message.. I did, sort of, but not like this. Redman's church became too focused on worship music - it became a distraction from real worship - so for a season the church took away the show of the music they had been working so hard on. It gave everyone time to focus on true worship and what it really meant to be worshipping the Lord. "By stripping everything away, we slowly started to rediscover the heart of worship."

When the music fades,
All is stripped away,
And I simply come;
Longing just to bring something that's of worth
That will bless Your heart.
I'll bring you more than a song,
For a song in itself
Is not what you have required.
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear;
You're looking into my heart.

I'm coming back to the heart of worship,
And it's all about You,
All about You, Jesus.
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it,
When it's all about You,
All about You, Jesus.

- The Heart of Worship

The Unnoticed Worshipper

2008-09-10T18:15:00.000-07:00

The Unquenchable Worshipper: Coming Back to the Heart of Worship by Matt Redman

This chapter asked some tough questions. Questions that honestly I disliked answering. When I am singing in church, who is it for? Do I want to be a noticed worshipper? Noticed by everyone in the congregation? I'm really happy that many of the people mentioned after the service that they thought I had a fantastic voice.. but is that the only reason I'm doing it? For the gratification after? I love the way that I feel when I'm worshipping: joyful, harmonious, intense, focused. I need to make sure that my focus is seriously on God though and nothing else. Yes it's important for things to line up harmonically and sound rockin' but it's more important that the Worship Team is all there for the same reason - to praise Him. "The key is to try and keep the public side of things outweighed by the private."

"God first seeks devotion to Him in the hidden place - worship when no one else is watching."

My Heart's Singing

2008-09-07T20:45:00.000-07:00

I will wait for You to move
For Your mighty hand to save
When the trouble waters rise
You are my hiding place
You are my hiding place

Your walls are salvation
Your gates are praise
My Deliverer
My Deliverer
My Deliverer is the Lord

Who is like You mighty God
Who can take me from Your hand
As I walk with You in freedom
You’re the Rock on which I stand
You’re the Rock on which I stand

- My Deliverer

Jake and I worshipped with this song during Offertory today and it was amazing. Pastor Mike even called the Holy Spirit our Deliverer during the service. It made me smile. :) My life feels so joyful right now. I have a hundred things to be so thankful for. Service today was about friendships that we have that are struggling because of a problem (gossip, complaining, ect..) and proper ways to handle the problem. It was a great sermon, definitely something that I needed to hear. God's word through Pastor Mike urges us all to make that phone call or write that letter approaching a problem with a friend. I feel like I am vulnerable but at the same time strong enough to seek resolution from something a few months ago. I'm eager to feel settled and I know what I have to do. The Worship Team rocked out today on a few songs and then had a very calm Communion - so amazing. To top my great Sunday off, rehearsals for the Des Moines Choral Society began tonight. I met some sweet people (some that have been members for 29 years!) and it was great seeing Ashley (who also joined the DMCS) and Dr. Rodde, the director (the same director I had in college with Iowa State Singers). Sunday's are officially the coolest day of my week, EVERY week.

The Unveiled Worshipper

2008-09-06T19:15:00.000-07:00

The Unquenchable Worshipper: Coming Back to the Heart of Worship by Matt Redman

"How can it be that the eternal God would beckon someone like me into his everlasting arms? Far from competing with each other, intimacy and reverence actually go hand in hand." Intimacy: a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group, privacy, as suitable to the telling of a secret. Reverence: a feeling or attitude of deep respect tinged with awe; veneration. Intimacy and reverence do, in fact, go hand in hand? Maybe they always should no matter what the topic of discussion is. If you're intimate then maybe you should feel veneration as well. I had no idea that one of the definitions for intimacy had anything to do with 'the telling of a secret' but how fitting! How amazing that Jesus' death on the cross was our invitation to intimacy with the Holy Spirit! The Holy Spirit who knows all of our secrets and accepts us and loves us unconditionally, come what may.

"..we talked about times when it's good to let our hearts overflow abundantly and even wildly. But there's also a time to be still and just know that God is God. This is a time to reflect on who He is and respond with the fewest words and the simplest of songs." Worship, at times, is about finding a balance between outward, "loud", and sometimes wild love vs. quiet, still, awe inspiring, shaking love. Redman talks about how often times people before the Holy Spirit in the bible end up on their knees. There are endless times where this is true! "To bow is the ultimate physical sign of reverence." I asked myself how often I am on the ground, bowing before God.. and the answer shocked me: I can't remember the last time I did.. if ever. Yes, I bow my head when I pray, but if the ultimate sign of reverence really is putting yourself on your knees before God, maybe it's something that I will practice a little more..

The Unpredictable Worshipper

2008-09-01T19:52:00.000-07:00

The Unquenchable Worshipper: Coming Back to the Heart of Worship by Matt Redman

In part of this chapter, Redman writes about how traditions take place in the Church but that tradition alone would create a lifeless worship with no surprises or extremes - anything unpredictable. Does tradition really exist to please itself? Or is it just comforting that something would become the norm, these traditions, to certain people when they worship? When is something unpredictable acceptable vs. not? We need to focus on the One we are worshipping for and let things flow inside of us even if they're unexplainable or even slightly ridiculous. I'm not sure though about what is acceptable and what isn't. I suppose I will have to have a moment where I am truly an unpredictable worshipper in order to completely understand.

"The human worship leader then becomes more of a lead worshipper who tries to follow the leadings of the Holy Spirit and throw himself or herself wholeheartedly into worship as an example for others to follow." I like this concept. Worship leaders don't make worship happen - everyone does together before Christ. Redman notes that as worship leaders (even though focusing on the perfection of sound, and the goodness of what is being played, is very important) that we can't lose focus of the fact that what we're doing could never be equal to the greatness of God. "Worship is a spiritual event long before it is ever a musical event."

I'm so joyful about this book! I hope that everyone who reads any of these posts is inspired to go pick up a copy!

15 Rules

2008-08-31T15:05:00.000-07:00

When I read over Jake's outline for his sermon this morning he wrote about a Christian man, Tony Steward, who has a blog. Here's the link - http://www.tonystewardblog.com/ - I recommend any/everyone to check it out. So I checked out this blog to see what it was all about. In a post from a week ago Tony wrote a list of rules for his life in order to make his experiences even more satisfying. He encourages people to create their own list of things that would change their lives for the better if we all did them daily/weekly. I decided to follow his footsteps and create a list of my own:

1. No eating after 8pm.
2. Go running every day.
3. Pray every morning and every night, no exceptions.
4. Continue reading Christian books and blogging about them.
5. Be an asset to the Worship Team while leading without pride.
6. Be dependable in all aspects of my life.
7. Spend more time with my mother & cook her dinner whenever I can.
8. Talk to my little sister everyday in some form (she's two hours away).
9. Help my parents with taking care of their house.
10. Read the bible every night.
11. Encourage my girlfriends from high school to attend church with me every Sunday.
12. Spend a few hours at a coffee shop.. only once a week. :)
13. Sing and play the piano daily.
14. Write a poem once a week in my notebook.
15. Smile, laugh, and love, every second of every day.

The Undignified Worshipper

2008-08-31T14:40:00.000-07:00

The Unquenchable Worshipper: Coming Back to the Heart of Worship by Matt Redman

"True worship always forgets itself." I desire to feel this way soon. I desire to feel so much love that I could explode. I'm going to start praying that I may feel this intense amount of passion when worshipping Him. I feel that this concept of worship forgetting itself that Redman believes in is something that I can pray about in order to understand more and experience personally.

"Our heavenly father loves us with an extravagant abandon. Passionate, undignified worship is our only reasonable response." I want to focus on the things that I could do to become a more extreme worshipper. Selfless acts that will help my relationship with Him while also coming to know more fellow Christians. I would love to have a group of women to talk about my faith and passions with. Maybe I could start some kind of a thing where we would meet every week? Heck, it probably already exists and I just don't know about it yet. I'll do my research.

Redman writes about worship leaders and performing selflessly, without being proud. Being on the Worship Team at St. Mark's will no doubt quickly teach me that it really is all about the abundance of Jesus in our hearts, not a show on a stage in front of others. There's no room for multiple center's of attention. God should be the center of attention, and Him alone. "He must increase and we must decrease. He must become greater and we must become less."

The Undone Worshipper

2008-08-27T21:33:00.000-07:00

The Unquenchable Worshipper: Coming Back to the Heart of Worship by Matt Redman

"Woe is me, for I am undone!" When we become undone, in brokenness, God has planned it that way in order to help us grow in our relationship with him. It's a time for reevaluating ourselves and our lives so that we can refocus and stay on the right path. Thinking back on the times that I have been undone I realize now how selfish I was in my desire to fix things. Instead of looking to Him for help and praying I would somehow allow myself to blindly struggle through without much hope. We've all heard that everything happens for a reason - how true! Trials that we face come in our lives in order to help us grow, making us better people in the end.

Instead of becoming frustrated with an obstacle I should use it as a stepping stone in my relationship with God. It's happening because He knows I can handle it.. and desires for me to become undone before Him, feeling full of love. "Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning." - Psalm 30:5. So, God makes us become undone through certain situations in order for Him to speak strongly to us in those conditions. What an amazing, inspiring thing. This book has me feeling joyful. :)

The Unquenchable Worshipper

2008-08-26T12:34:00.000-07:00

Book number one: The Unquenchable Worshipper: Coming Back to the Heart of Worship by Matt Redman

I decided that when I read books I'll blog about them here. I hope that it'll help me remember the best parts of every book that I read. I'm especially excited about reading this book because a song that the Worship Team is working on for next Sunday, The Heart of Worship was written by the author, Matt Redman. I'm excited to feel a new understanding about the song that I'm going to gain from reading this book.

Quench=to put out or extinguish. Unquenchable=impossible to suppress or destroy. The unquenchable worshipper="From a heart so amazed by God and His wonders burns a love that will not be extinguished. It survies any situation and lives through any circumstance." The first chapter is about the unquenchable worshipper. The one that realizes that God's worth never changes in spite of any circumstances, good or bad. Redman compares the blaze of a fire to our hearts of worship, those who have hearts burning for God. There are ways that the fire in our hearts can be put out just as a fire is put out by an extinguisher. Trials and pressures of our lives can dim our hearts of worship. Excluding the Holy Spirit from our everyday lives is another way to put out or quench the fire. We should strive to be full of him at all times. The last way to dampen the fire would be to let an obsticle stop the fire from spreading in our hearts, cutting us off from the flame that was once ignited. "The heart of God loves a perserving worshipper who, though overwhelmed by many troubles, is overwhelmed even more by the beauty of God."

"Whatever trials lie ahead in this life, unquenchable worshippers are found with a song of undying worship on their lips." I'm going to strive to not let any poor circumstance change the song, passion, or fire that's coming from my heart.

Living our Faith in Real Life

2008-08-26T10:57:00.000-07:00

Sunday, 8.24.2008

"God made you to be you & God wants you to be you!"
"Don't evaluate yourself apart from God's grace."
"Where I'm inadequate, someone like you is adequate instead." - Mike Foss

At church on Sunday, Mike talked about living our real faith in real life. To start things he put up three pictures of LoLo Jones; the first of her handing over new track shoes to the runners at her old high school, Roosevelt, the second of her donating $12,000 to a flood victim from Cedar Rapids, and the third of her on the ground in defeat after clipping the ninth hurdle in the 100-m during the Olympics. Which picture of LoLo Jones will I remember? When asked this, I realized that the only picture I had seen of LoLo before this service was of her fallen defeat. I had no idea of her contributions to the flood victim or her high school. Lesson: we cannot allow our flaws in the past to define us. Surely, LoLo will go on to do more good and win more gold. The failure will not define her, rather, will be used as a lesson learned. Have I allowed my flaws in the past define me instead of God defining me from the inside out? Yes. I have let them define me many times. This is something I need to work on with strong faith. What are the images that I would like to remember about me? Images of faith, love, and support, not images of defeat, disrespect, or failure.

There was a small outline in the notes for those attending to fill out during the sermon if we chose to do so - filling in the blanks. The outline covered three main points; 1. practical atheism and having a spiritual purpose in this real life with real faith, 2. us being ourselves, nonconforming to the externals of this world and understanding the difference between appearance and cause, and 3. knowing ourselves honestly, respecting ourselves, and knowing that together we are Christ's Church. This was the first time I heard Mike speak. He ended telling us that salvation happens now. The message had me feeling overwhelmingly joyful. I left feeling eager to hear God's word through Mike again soon.

The contemporary music that was performed was great. Every seed grows into a bud, buds into blooming flowers, and blooming flowers unfold into extraordinary beauties. Jake Bouma recently became fully in charge of the music ministry at St. Mark. He contacted me a couple weeks ago asking if I would be interested in singing with their Worship Team in the future. After speaking with Jake about the opportunity and how great the timing was for this in my life, I accepted. I start working with the Worship Team at St. Mark Lutheran Church this week. I'm so excited to start! I'm in a good place right now although I know there is so much yet to be accomplished and so much growth to happen in regards to my faith.